Om jeg pylrer mit barn?

maj 11, 2015 by

GladBabyUanset hvordan jeg vender og drejer mit dilemma, så er der risiko for, at jeg kommer til at fremstå meget egoistisk og uden omtanke for andre og deres kære børn. Det er ikke min mening. Jeg føler mig ret omsorgsfuld overfor mine medmennesker, men jeg må erkende, at når det kommer til mine piger, så er det deres udvikling og velbefindende, som ligger mig nærmest – og for dem er jeg villig til at gå meget langt!
Det skal samtidig understreges, at jeg bestemt ikke er en mor der pylrer om mine børn. De lærer at stå på egne ben, i børneniveau, de får masser af kys og kram, men de bliver bestemt ikke pakket ind i vat og bomuld – det er jeg meget imod!

 

Da min yngste datter startede i dagpleje for godt 8 måneder siden, var vores største ønske, at hun kunne gå samme sted som storesøster – men desværre var denne dagplejer fuldt booket, øv.
Til gengæld fik vi anbefalet en anden sød dagplejer, hvor en pige fra mødregruppen var startet. Det var godt nok i modsatte ende af byen, men min mand og jeg var enige om, at det ville være optimalt for vores datter at gå med en pige på samme alder. De kunne følges ad og skærpe hinanden. Helt perfekt… Indtil pigens forældre hellere ville have hende i vuggestue, og dermed tog hende ud. Det var virkelig et stort tab, men vi kunne desværre ikke tvinge hende til at blive.

DagplejebørnSiden da har vi så håbet, at der kom nogle nye børn, som var på samme alder som vores datter. En lille dreng startede i denne måned, og lillepigen elsker ham. Hun står på hug foran ham og bare kigger, og snakker til ham, som når voksne snakker til små babyer – i meget højt toneleje og med hovedet på skrå. Det er virkelig sødt at se, men også lidt skræmmende, for pludselig er vores datter (på bare 19 måneder) den “store” pige. Vi har nu modtaget besked om, at en ny dreng starter 1. juni, en dreng der er født 8 uger præmaturt, og derfor har en del særlige behov (vi ved ikke hvilke). Han optager pladsen for 2 børn, så faktum er, at det nu kun er vores datter på 19 måneder, Tobi på 11 måneder og så den nye dreng med særligt behov der kommer til at gå i vores dagpleje.

Det skal siges, at der i vores kommune én gang ugentligt er “legestue” for dagplejerne. De mødes 3 dagplejere med alle deres børn i lokaler, som er indrettet til legestue, én gang om ugen. Her afleverer vi forældre vores børn, og så leger alle Dagplejemor12 børn sammen på kryds og tværs. Jeg elsker dette koncept, for det forbereder børn på at komme i børnehave, hvor der er mange flere børn af forholde sig til.

Min første reaktion på beskeden var tårer! Jeg havde virkelig håbet på en lidt større legekammerat til vores pige. Næste tanke var: “nå, men så lærer hun at drage omsorg for andre og tage hensyn”. Men ærlig talt, så er mine piger rigtig gode til at være kærlige overfor andre børn, de hverken skubber, sparker, bidder, kradser eller slår andre børn, men kommer derimod og aer og giver en krammer, hvis andre børn bliver kede af det.
Nu kommer vi, højst sandsynligt, igen til at skulle undvære legestuen hver uge, der bliver måske ikke lige så mange ture ud af huset, som der normalt er, og får lillepigen nu alle de input fra andre børn, som jeg føler mig berettiget til, at hun får, når nu jeg betaler i dyre domme for, at hun skal gå i dagpleje?
Vi er super glade for vores dagplejemor, hun er virkelig en skøn kvinde, der oser af kærlighed og børneglæde.

Mit dilemma er derfor: Skal vi finde en anden dagpleje til vores datter, én hvor der er flere jævnaldrende børn, og hvor der kommer flere aktiviteter og input? Eller skal vi vente og se, hvad der sker?

 

Jeg er bestemt ikke tilhænger af, at børn bliver flyttet rundt for min skyld. Sålænge børn trives, kan jeg, i teorien, være ligeglad med, hvor det foregår.
Min bekymring er dog, om hun får den hjælp til at udvikle sig sprogligt, som hun har behov for. Bliver hun skærpet nok af de 2 yngre drenge, som jo er helt anderledes, netop fordi de er drenge?

 

Jeg har virkelig brug for input fra nogle kloge mødre, måske endda nogle, som har stået i samme situation. Hvordan har I taklet det?

 

Rosa pæon

 

Kærligst den bekymrede mor

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145 Comments

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