Om private spørgsmål

mar 10, 2015 by

Det er et velkendt faktum, at man elsker at snakke om sig selv! Frisøren skal som regel stille ét spørgsmål, så får de hele familietræets historie, hvornår børnene begyndte at gå, fik deres første klipning, ens bryllupsdag, kobberbrylluppet, sølvbrylluppet – you name it. Vi snakker gerne om ALT!
Men alligevel oplever jeg, at der er spørgsmål, som måske går lige over min grænse.

Her kommer et eksempel på et meget atypisk, men alligevel ekstremt grænseoverskridende spørgsmål:Chatty-cats
Forleden skulle jeg hente en god venindes børn i deres institution. Vi i en af de mindste biler på markedet, så med mine egne 2 børn, er vi nødt til at køre nogle gange.
Jeg har hentet mine piger, og den store vil meget gerne med hen og hente bedsteveninden. Og det går også med en voksen og tre børn i en bil. Men så manglede vi jo bedstevenindens lillesøster.
Jeg halser ind til institutionen og forklarer, at jeg kører i en Aygo, og at jeg derfor lige må hjem og sætte af, før end jeg tager den sidste med – ingen problem.
MEN… Da jeg så kommer for at hente lille baby-E, spørger den store stykke ældre pædagog mig så: “er der andre hjemme hos jer, når du har sat børnene af?”. Okay, måske så jeg lidt stresset, svedig og temmelig vild ud, så jeg forstår godt hendes lyst til at spørge. Men havde hun virkelig forestillet sig, at jeg havde efterladt to piger på 4 år og en på 1 år ALENE hjemme?? Jeg var målløs over hendes spørgsmål, og som mange nok kender, så kommer jeg altid først med de kvikke svar EFTER situationen for længst er overstået. Jeg måbede til gengæld flot, og sagde at min mand naturligvis var hjemme.
Er jeg bare sart? Lur mig om I ikke også havde fundet hende ganske flabet!


Så kommer vi til de mere gængse spørgsmål, spørgsmål jeg alligevel synes er meget forkerte at stille, for det er egentlig ens egen sag, men ikke desto mindre kommer de alligevel alt for ofte:

Da jeg blev halv-voksen (18 år) begyndte folk at spørge, om jeg snart skulle flytte hjemmefra.
Da jeg så var flyttet hjemmefra, spurgte folk om jeg snart skulle flytte sammen med én.
Da jeg så fandt en kæreste, så kom spørgsmålet om vi skulle giftes, og snart?
Da vi så blev gift – – – gæt hvad de så spurgte om! Skal I snart have nogle børn? Ja, jeg var lidt mere rund dengang, og jeg husker tydeligt en ældre dame en sommer, hvor jeg var iført hvidt tøj (som netop fremhæver deller på maven og lignende former). Hun blev véd med at stå og tage mig på maven, overbevist om at jeg var gravid, og sige, ikke spørge, at jeg var gravid! Det endte faktisk med, at jeg måtte hive blusen op og vise hende, at jeg faktisk bare var lidt fed på maven – et offentligt sted!!
Nå, men da vi så endelig besluttede os for at skulle have børn, efter 6 års ægteskab, og vi så fik dette lille vidunder, så stoppede spørgsmålene bestemt ikke. Skal I så have flere børn?
Åhhh altså!

Spørgsmålene stopper aldrig. Det ønsker jeg sådan set heller ikke, de gør. Det er spørgsmål, der giver Awesome_Peach
samtale, samtale er den måde, vi lærer hinanden at kende på og skaber gode, dybe og nære venskaber. Spørgsmål er rigtig dejlige, når de kommer fra dem, som man ved spørger af ren og skær kærlig interesse, og ikke bare af sladdertanterne, som skal have noget at sladre videre op i strikkeklubben. Jeg stiller selv spørgsmål, men jeg må indrømme, jeg er selv blevet meget bevidst om, at tænke over hvordan spørgsmålet vil blive modtaget, INDEN jeg stiller det (jeg klarer det ikke altid lige godt). Er jeg i tvivl, kan man altid blot spørge om noget andet – eller måske blive så dristig at man kaster sig ud i at give ros.

 

Og til os der får alle spørgsmålene: Vi skal nyde det, vi er i lige nu. Der skal ikke komme noget pres udefra – svært, men super vigtigt!

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